Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Attachment in Hell

Well, I guess I used a word too strong to describe my seven weeks of external attachment at a certain marketing company (I don't want to name it now coz' I have a lot to say, you can trackback though).

It wasn't hell, it was just physical and psychological torment.

For starters, let's introduce the main players: Pharktard (Director, ptui!), Office Bitch (the full-time female colleague), Swee (only male full-time colleague) and me.

Sidekicks are Chloe (NP intern - 7 weeks), Melissa (SP intern - 9 weeks), Jason (new SIM intern - goodness, I can't believe I just spent 5 mins scratching my eyelids, thinking what his name is) and Auntie (office cleaning lady).

Chloe and Melissa left the company after they completed their attachment, which was my week 4. The new intern came in week 7, who was granted a whole new kind of treatment from us female interns.

Chloe was in charge of the personal errands. Melissa was in charge of the scheduling and pay-rolling. When they left, I took over their roles, minus the pay-rolling part.

I'm not going to you know, making false statements about this Google Marketing company that cause what we call slander, but I am merely stating the facts. The fucking facts.

For one, you can either see it as I quit, or fired, I don't freaking care. All I want to do was not too see his pharktard face and the OB ever, ever, ever again.

What makes a pharktard:
  1. Churn out many many lies to cover for his previous lies, and with many loopholes.
  2. With the loopholes, he threatened another person to succumb to penalties like fining and getting fired.
  3. Totally forgotten about interviewees waiting for him for 2 hours, while locked in the room with OB, and after which made the intern buy tea for the interviewee as a form of apology.
  4. You fucking snap at intern to get a stack of paper that's 10 steps away.
  5. You fucking ask the intern to "by hook or by crook" to get you your fucking blue slip (that you didn't mention)
  6. You fucking claim to 'test' the intern only at week 6, yet when the new SIM intern came, he had loads of work to do. Then can't you fucking interview the intern first?
  7. You disgusting flirt with the OB when colleagues are around.
  8. You think female interns are cheap labour.
  9. You think you're the smartest guy around in the marketing industry but doesn't know how to zoom in a pharking picture on Mac (you're not even worth being called a Mac idiot), and push the blame on the female intern!
  10. Your mood swings are worse than a woman in her menopause.
  11. You non-subtly insinuate that the female intern pee in your pharking Chinese tea (then pharking buy it yourself lah!)
  12. By purposely not paying the female interns until they leave (that's 2 months worth of pay).
  13. By making excuses of the reason why the employees mass-quit and why not paying the interns.
  14. You doesn't even know an intern is coming.
  15. You make her do stupid things like taking photo of the rubbish bin in discretion, so that the Balaji Logistics employees won't know that YOU complained about the rubbish they threw.
  16. You tell the intern you look stupid, and have to look smart (Hello, look who's talking? The pot calling the kettle black?).
  17. You disgustingly ask the intern not to cry when you're gloating about it.
  18. You freaking said my LO made a big fuss over data entry.
  19. You corner the intern (well, not literally) to leave the company on her own accord so you can appear saint-like.
  20. Your office's pantry consist of only an Ice Mountain water dispenser lying pathetically in a corner of the office/room (same same lah, no partitions)
  21. OH! You request the intern to go over to the OB's table, and ask her to freaking refill the staples for the OB!
  22. You once again ask for the second/third time whether the intern has taken your money that is used to buy your dessert, lunch, tea, Dettol wipes etc.
  23. Most of all, while the intern's grandmother passed away, you nicely insisted she take a week off, THEN PHARKING DOCK HER PAY that coughs up to nearly $200. Compassionate leave eh, and I only requested for 2 days!
All in all, a pharktard waste 5 days x 13 hours (+travelling) x 7 weeks x $45 x 2 of your life.

True enough, I've learnt life skills along the way, and on the bright side, any company that I go from now on, will ALWAYS be better than that experience.

Jason the new SIM intern, who took over my desk when pharktard asked me to move over to another desk in the morning. He already had loads of assignments on hand and being approached by the pharktard many times in a nice manner. He doesn't need to run errands, and has a freaking electronic tap card on his first day! I didn't even know my lunch hour yet he was well-taken care of.

Swee, the other male colleague. I'm sorry I got him into trouble too many a time, but thanks for your moral support yo! I hope you're coping well.

I'm not kidding man.

*gasp* Why are the tables empty? *gasp* Is that a...a... pantry?

And on the last day...
I was feeling dull. I already blogged about this, so I'm not going through it over again.

Plants blossom, but plants wilt too. And sometimes, it's just hard to revive it.

Self-discovery + cam whoring:

I don't want to put up an attitude, but if you want to judge me and mock at me it's all up to you *coughs* Mr Tan H.H *coughs*, but I'm contented with where I am now, at Radio Heatwave. Truth be told, grades doesn't matter as much to me as much as the satisfaction I gain in the things I do. I'd rather do things I love than doing things I don't like. So there, get the picture right.

* * *

Oops. Did I just do that?

Believe the saying - you can't judge a book by its cover.


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